For comparison

Here's the - oh what's that term for writing as something is happening, contemporaneous? I dunno. I found the Grammy Blab that I did last year - reading it over, I'm thinking that was a better show. Do you remember any of these scenes?


Wednesday, February 8, 2006
Seatbelts on . . . the Grammys! The 48th.
(Wherein I reveal my cluelessness about many matters musical. Cluelessness and major attitiude.) My promise – Not Ironic. Mostly serious.
Finishing my Superbowl guy’s dinner of hot wings and beer. I’ve got chips and salsa and beer nuts. Also, a new bottle of Dewar’s.

8:04 PM
Are the Gorillaz really a band? Are those puppets onstage? Oh – here we go, real people.
Now Madonna is here with a Flipper hairdo and a crew doing a Bob Fosse cage thing . . .
. . . more Fosse-esque tableaux . . .
Well, I guess you don’t want to start a show with a show stopper.

They’re naming the lineup now – presenters and performers - I don’t think there’s anybody in the music biz not here.
Here’s Stevie Wonder and ?
Fuck, yeah! Do “Higher Ground”, Stevie. Good one – a capella.
Yo, there’s Bonnie Raitt with a – a – date?
Best Female Vocal Performance – Kelly Clarkson – all broken up. Seems like just yesterday she was an “American Idol” ingénue.
Is this Coldplay? The guitarist owes The Edge some props. Come to think of it, the whole band owes U2 some props – but that’s okay.
Newcomer John Legend – solo at the piano – smooth crooner, good pipes. Seems like a regular guy – getting some standing O.
Performance by Sugarland? That guy is whacking away at a mandolin? Straight ahead country pop. Okay.
Best Country Album - Allison Krauss & Union Station.
A duet with Mary J Blige and U2 –
Yeah, Edge – that’s our Tele! Yes, Coldplay has U2 aspirations. Here’s Mary J for the duet – “One Love”. Must be some kind of cool to have all that speaker cone wind at your back to sing like this! Great mixed up pile of Vox and Fender amps behind The Edge.

Award for Best Rap Album – Kanye West. TWO black gloves. Cool thank you list! It says “Thank You List”.

Football star, Steelers QB (somebody boos) – introduces a Kelly Clarkson performance - a little bit of old film that will probably make her cringe. She’s doing her latest hit, “Because of You”. What she said in the film clip is true, though. Performing on the Grammys is the shit. There they are in front of you – the music industry.

Oh, Gwen Stefani – in my opinion, when you take away the band, she falls over.

Award for Best Rock Album – Coldplay up against U2 and The Stones and Foo Fighters and Neil Young. Did anyone hear that Neil Young album “Prairie Wind”?
U2 gets it. I mean that both ways. Don’t we love these guys? Larry and Adam leave the talking to the other guys . . .

Ellen Degeneres says “ this next performer needs no introduction.” She’s right. It’s Paul.
This is live music – kind of cool that it sounds mostly pretty good.
Helter Skelter – first time in front of an audience? A rock’n roll song, to be sure. Thrash it, boys!
I want good seats at the Grammys some day.
Bonnie Raitt is sitting with a Charlie Rose-looking guy?
Black Eyed Peas intro Best Male Vocal Performance – J. Foxx – J. Legend – Mario – Usher – S. Wonder
Grammy goes to John Legend.

They say that Sly will be here . . . they’re doing a tribute to him, maybe he’ll show.
Mariah Carey - - - - - wonder if she’ll ever be as big as Aretha? No, as big.
Duh, I stopped paying attention and a choir appeared behind Mariah Carey.
Teri Hatcher – nighttime makeup -
Best Pop Voc Album – Fiona Apple, Kelly Clarkson, Paul McCartney, Gwen Stefani.
The award goes to Kelly Clarkson – Break Away. This little girl is overwhelmed. Thanking Bonnie Raitt. Talking a mile a minute.

Aside from seeing the Edge playing a Tele just like mine, I haven’t had a Grammy moment yet.

Jenna Elfman has got gams. Intro-ing Faith Hill and Keith Urban.
Get another Dewar’s and ice.
Is Faith Hill a blonde sometimes? Or is that somebody else?
Alright – that boy is playing a Tele Nashville. I guess the Telecaster was pretty close to perfect 55 years ago or so. Still the same guitar, but now available in 30 flavors. Hey, he can play – that’s alright, boy.

Chris Brown (?) and Carlos Santana (saying a prayer for us all as he comes on) with an award for Mo Ostin. And presenting award for Rap/Sung collaboration – Jay Z and Linkin Park. Concise thank-you.

Never seen Bill Frisell on here – has he won a Grammy yet?

Thank God, thank Jesus, thank Legal and Management, thank my team at Sony.

Hey, here’s Dave Chappelle. Intro for the great disappearing Sly Stone -
Is that Tom Hanks sitting next to Nicole Kidman?
Intro for SLY! Okay, starts out with NOT SLY . . . doing “Family Affair”
Joss Stone, John Legend and ? good cover . . .
That Joss Stone can channel some 70’s music.
Fantasia and ? (way tattoo! guy)
People go nuts doing Sly’s music – it is good stuff.
Maroon 5 and Ciara (?) – “Everyday People” – you‘ve got to love singing “oooooh, sha sha”.
Will I. Am from Black Eyed Peas - “Dance to the Music” rapped up – yeah.
Robert Randolph (I was just wondering about him!) and Steve Tyler and Joe Perry
doing “I Want to take you Higher” . . .
Fuck! It’s Sly! Here he is with a white Mohawk! Boom lakka lakka lakka Boom lakka lakka lakka!
Goddamn! Can’t stick around – too cool for the room. It was a cool ninety seconds, Sly. Come back soon.

Elder LLCoolJ – talkin’ about Rob’t Johnson. Some award. Most Posthumous Of All.
Intro to JayZ (with a John Lennon tee shirt under his white suit ) & Linkin Park . . . segue into “Yesterday” with Paul McCartney. You’d better have your harmonies dead on with Sir Paul.
Tom Hanks announcing a Lifetime Achievement Award for the Weavers. Pete Seeger was in that band . . . Lifetime Achievement Award accepted by Fred Hellerman and Ronnie Gilbert. Intro for Bruce Springsteen.
Our folk man, Bruce. “Devils and Dust”. Bruce is the son of Bob Dylan, you can be sure. This is one of the Performances . . . he’s a master of nuance, guitar and harp in a rack. As far as I’m concerned, he’s earned a year’s salary for what he can do in this couple of minutes. Bono gives a standing O. Camera pans across front row, James Taylor is there.

Destiny’s Child announces Song of the Year – U2 wins. “Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own” – Bono thanks his dad, Bob. ‘gave me a voice and the attitude to use it’.
Says that the album title “How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb” is really about his dad. Bob was the bomb.

10:37 PM
Kanye West – he says it! Grammys is the Superbowl!
Here’s a Superbowl halftime show – Jaimie Foxx and Kanye West – throw down marching bands – two guys with too much talent . . . if I was hip I’d know who those guys doing the “Broke Phi Broke” routine are.

Sheryl Crow and Sting announce Lifetime Achievement Award for Cream – there’s Jack Bruce in shades – kind of a non-moment.
And announcing Record of the Year Award – to Green Day - Blvd of Broken Dreams : (
I think there were nominees that deserved it more. Green Day has dumbed down Green Day, I think.

Terrence Howard announcing a Lifetime Achievement Award for Jessye Norman . . .
Announcing Herbie Hancock and Christina Aguilera doing “Song for You” – was that a Leon Russell tune? (Ellen came in later and said “Wasn’t that a Carpenters song?”)
If my Facial Recognition Software was any worse, I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between Gwen Stefani, Paris Hilton and Christina Aguilera. Would that be a bad thing?
I wish there was a ‘what was I just thinking’ button on the computer. As I get older I just get more confused – song of the year, record of the year, album of the year . . .

Announcing Best New Artist - John Legend gets the Grammy.
Montage of the ’05 music family departed. We lost a lot this year.

Queen Latifa announces a Lifetime Achievement Award for Richard Pryor.
Bonnie Raitt and James Taylor announce for Producer of the Year - Steve Lillywhite.
And Trustees Award for Al Schmidt – producer.
Album of the Year nominees – Mariah Carey, Paul McCartney, Gwen Stefani, U2, Kanye West.
It’s a white show – U2’s “How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb” gets the award.
Bono is gracious, mentions each of the other nominees.
Adam speaks!

Pres. Portnoy announce Bonnie Raitt , the Edge, Allen Toussaint, Dr. John, Elvis Costello, Irma Thomas – a New Orleans tribute – “I Know We Can Make It”
Good! Too Short!
Bruce comes out – Midnight Hour! Goddamn, I should know who that black man is – red jacket with fringe? Wilson Pickett? This lineup promises much, but no snap appears.
Fade out, Grammys over.

PS – Obviously, the reappearance of Sly is the event of the night. The Letterman Band is totally medly-ing with Sly tunes tonight. And isn’t the Letterman show taped in the afternoon? Before the Grammys even happened?